taylorshocks

So… I Guess I Still Tune Into The Jersey Shore

In Uncategorized on March 25, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I won’t deny it any longer… I still do find sheer joy when plopping down on my couch and unintentionally finding an episode of the Jersey Shore on MTV.

Overall, do I feel as though this season was vastly different from the rest? Not whatsoever, but I will say nonetheless, I very much enjoyed it.

THE BOYS OF THE JERSEY SHORE — Minus Ronnie Who Isn’t Allow to Be Included

 Situation –  I think that after his initial horrifically embarrassing introduction onto the show when it aired, he hasn’t done anything to necessarily bother me. Surprisingly enough. He had a lot of “sex” and by “sex” I am referring to the three-minute long romps he has with drunk girls with whom he snatched up from Karma. After their shock at both the size and the motion of Mike’s ocean, no one… even grenades, stay for breakfast.

Pauly D — Other than his EXTREMELY OUT-OF-NOWHERE freak out in the beginning of the season, he has and continues to be my favorite character on the show. He is never bringing drama into the house, STD’s into the bedrooms and manages to make everyone laugh even when beds are being thrown and prescription glasses are getting cracked. I think out of any of them, there is hope for normalcy when Pauly finally reaches adulthood and chucks all 3,000 bottles of hairspray and gels he has in his medicine cabinet.

Vinny– I just can’t read him. I find him hot at times and at other points throughout the season I wanted to just throw him into the disease-infested hot tub with Snooki to see what would happen. The Snooki/ Vinny love “situation” never fleshed out so his recent attempt for a one night stand with Deena’s friend shouldn’t have been cock-blocked. Even I agree with him on that cat fight. I will say, however, the closeness he has with his family is adorable and I’d love nothing more than to be invited one time to a dinner party of 15 … consisting of of chicken parmesans, fried mozzarella and endless boxed wine, courtesy of Cavit wines.

“RONNIEANDSAM” – Yes, I intentionally didn’t separate their pathetic names  

 What more can we all POSSIBLY say to one another about this couple that hasn’t been said…. at least a million times over? I think Season One I liked them as a couple… didn’t necessarily think it was down-the-aisle potential, but the show need to have that one couple to bring the diversity of all relationship types to the table. What MTV didn’t realize at that point, however, was what came with that decision — unbelievably, never-ending, frustrating and down right annoying relationship drama between the two cast members. I think by the end of this season I decided that if I saw EITHER of those humans while back at home in Atlantic City, New Jersey I’d make it a point to jump and their backs and beat them with my little fists until that is, I get the shit beat out of me … from both of them I’m sure. They are THE MOST VOLATILE COUPLE ON TELEVISION and if after you’re chucked off your own moving bed which is then relocated to the outside deck alongside all of your broken posessions and you STILL return back to someone? You need to be in a cell… for a while… a very, very, VERY small isolated cell.

SNOOKI AND DEENA

You know what? I love both of these ladies. Why you may ask? Because they’re silly and unapologetic… perhaps too much so, but regardless, they make NO apologies for what they do. Snooki, let’s take as a for instance, loves to pee and poop in bushes while at clubs.. she also like to perform cartwheels in skin-tight leopard dresses FAR too awkwardly tight to begin with. Deena, the most recent addition the show, brings for the most part the “bro” girl of the group. She can get down with the boys and likes to mack it with the ladies every now and again. I also love how reliable they are — you know, you can ALWAYS find them on the boardwalk at the socially inappropriate time of 11AM downing shots from scantily clad gay men. Just saying. It’ s nice to know they’re predictable.

J WOWW

J Woww stands alone in my book, not that I thinks she reigns supreme, but more that she is not in any of the cliques within the house. Her and her boobs are in their own exclusive little club. She has such a banging body — I can’t get over it. I see her, drunk at 3 am with Rodger in the living room, S & M attire in full view and I can’t help but think how good she looks. I know her boobs were paid for, but so what? Her flat perfect stomach was not, that’s for sure. Jersey Shore doesn’t pay THAT well.

 

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