taylorshocks

So My Cappuccino is now cancerous?

In Uncategorized on March 29, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Here is my problem. I keep getting phone calls from my mother that my daily habits are leading to me to a slow death. I will go through the list of things she believes I must change about my daily routine and why. I will then to proceed to tell you the things I believe I do RIGHT in my life. See if it all balances itself out.

LIST OF THINGS I’M DOING WRONG:

1. EATING AND DRINKING HOT BEVERAGES– see, here’s the problem with this. I do not believe there is a “direct correlation” between sipping on a hot coffee and throat cancer. I could be wrong and if I am? I will get over my love for STEAMING HOT foods and let them settle for a few minutes. But until I see this on CNN? I am continuing to nuke my food.

2. TANNING– well, she DOES have a point with this. I really can’t rant about the up side to going tanning because every time I go I wear sunglasses and a hood (as if I were gambling on my child’s life). Regardless, I know it’s not a “greatttt” thing to be doing, ok. Let me retract that- it’s an awful habit. Point goes to my mom.

3. SALT– Yes, I like to put salt ON salt. I do believe if I were to go tomorrow to get my blood pressure checked it would be a very very ugly diagnosis. I have tried Dash Seasoning, but it just doesn’t seem to do it for me. I will look into other various alternatives because I am tired of hearing how my life will be ended abruptly if I don’t stop over salting everything I eat.

salt_cellars


THINGS I BELIEVE I’M DOING RIGHT:

1. HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: I say lifestyle as a whole because my lifestyle is fairly healthy. I eat my greens, take my vitamins, exercise regularly, and eat my lean proteins. So I believe this I’ll give myself a +2 on this one.

healthy-lifestyle

2. “I SAY NO THANKS TO DRUGS”: Eh, luckily I didn’t hand that in to my COM teacher for my Public Service Announcement. That sucked. Regardless, I have yet to put a cigarette to my mouth and for being 21, I feel that is yet another triumph. I have also only tried pot a few times in my life… those few times resulted in bad panic attacks which I which not to relive. Therefore, I get yet another +2  for my lack of deadly drug use. 

3. CLEANLINESS- So, perhaps I won’t be saved from my deadly habits because I routinely brush my teeth but I do feel it is very important to maintain a high level of cleanliness. Do I think I’m a little psychotic when I shower after I come back from the bars if I’ve been rubbed up on too many times? Yes, I don’t think you need to shower 3x daily but I do believe those of you who “forget” to shower or brush your teeth have some tweaking to do. I’ll just say this much– you may think people won’t notice if you missed a shower here or there but you are VERY WRONG. Hate to break the news to you.

So now that I’m done. I’m realizing … the odds aren’t COMPLETELY against me. I believe the order in which I’ll work to stop my habits are as follows: Tanning, Salt, Hot Foods. Wish me luck, or even better, buy me a spray tan or two. 

 

 


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  1. hahahaha the salt was the first thing i thought of

  2. Just like you, I love putting on salt. I”m slowly trying to use less and less salt in my diet…

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