taylorshocks

Twilight Rant … So I USED to want to be bit by a vampire

In Uncategorized on May 13, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Here’s the thing. I loved the Twilight books. If any of you care to look back at my FIRST blog post here on WordPress it was about these weirdly easy-to-read yet addictive books about vampires written by Stephanie Meyer. After having finished all of the books in the series, and hooking all of my friends into the whirlwind that was the “Twilight Phenomenon“, I heard about the movie that was in production. As any other book devotee would be, I was very skeptical of the outcome. I don’t like when they make books into movies for the most part. There is ONE exception of course: Walk to Remember with Mandy Moore and Shane West — gets me every time. Either way, I knew that MOST LIKELY this would be a flop.

twilight-cast

After going to the midnight showing with one of my best friends Christine, I was utterly confused/ shocked/ laughing all at once. The movie made Gigli look like a masterpiece. Honestly, it was SO atrocious (in regards to acting) that everyone in the theater was consistently laughing throughout as though it was a comedy. There are only two reasons the movie became the phenomenon that it is:

1) Perez Hilton took a liking to it

2) Robert Pattinson

Very simple reasoning. Every film critique BUTCHERED the film, but listed its only saving grace as being the pre-pubescent tweens in braces and Edward Cullen shirts who repeatedly went back to the movies to watch Pattinson over and over again. Perez’s aproval of the hot import and the cast of attractive ghostly pale wannabe actors caught his attention and gave Twilight the OK in the “celeb crazed” internet realm – which as most people know, is QUITE a large realm.

2TLAUTNER_FR_C_^_FRIDAY

Here’s my beef. I don’t think the movie deserves the credit to even be placed in the back dusty aisle of Blockbuster but I will say this much. I do give credit to those men/women who CAST the roles. While I’m sure if they even went for a week to undergraduate film school they’d know the actors were FAR from talented, they saw the dynamic and the appeal of the main characters. So for that? I will say, the casting was brilliant. But with the phoniest lines I’ve heard in a film such as, “You better hold on tight Spidermonkey“? I can’t do anything but laugh, hard.

As for the new film being created currently, “New Moon“, I’m hoping that it is at least bearable and worth the $10 I will spend to go see it. Sure, I could allocate that money towards better uses — such as buying life sized posters of Pattinson. That would be the best of all worlds, I wouldn’t have to watch him act but I’d be able to stare at his beauty.

edward

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  1. Word up sister. I could not agree more. The movie makes a mockery of the series. But Pattison is lovely to look at…

  2. I have to preface this by saying I never read the books, and I didn’t see the first movie. But I was dragged, kicking and screaming to see the second. I spent the entire movie telling my younger sister that if I ever see her in a relationship such as Bella and Edward I would smack her around. I mean honestly, from the body language she showed it looked like she was in an abusive relationship; maybe not physically abusive, but definitely mentally. All the signs were there: unable to look him in the eye, the slump of her shoulders, the tone of her voice. Once she started hanging with Jacob I had my sister look at the completely different body language. I was abso-pissed when Bella went back to Edward. I can’t help but worry about the message we are sending young girls with movies such as these. And you are right, the acting is still complete and utter crap.

    • SO ridiculous — I’m glad you agree! Those movies need to be retired — in addition to all Vampire genre themed shows!!!

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