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Posts Tagged ‘Mariah Carey’

What The Holidays Bring…

In Uncategorized on November 11, 2010 at 11:34 pm

TAKING FULL ADVANTAGE OF MY GRANDPARENT’S WET BAR DURING THE HOLIDAY GET TOGETHERS

Who actually gets excited for dry holiday get togethers? That’s right — no one. Unless you’re wildly fascinated by your own family whom you’ve done the same holiday annual dinners with for 20 years plus and still find them intriguing. If you’re one of them? You should be studied. Every year I feel like it’s like an adult version of Christmas/ Hannukah when you walk into a warm familiar home and see an array of bad for you foods, mostly fried but even better a full on wet bar, ready for the taking. It’s like a bat miztvah, but so so much better.

 

127 HOURS WITH JAMES FRANCO

So here’s the deal — I read the book, while semi-queasy throughout, I thoroughly enjoyed the captivating story of the real life hiker that had to drink his own urine and sever his own arm to survive. While the story did it for me, the movie starring one of my favorite celebrities, James Franco, makes me over-the-top excited to shell out way too much money for an overpriced ticket and overbuttered popcorn. The reviews have been unreal — everyone praises Franco for an A+ job, can’t wait to see you Franco in the near future.

MARIAH’S LATEST CHRISTMAS INSTALLMENT (JUDGE ME AND I KICK YOUR ASS, PERSONALLY)

No I don’t like Mariah. And no I don’t celebrate Christmas. But yes am I already playing Mariah’s updated Christmas CD on repeat at the office. She just knows how to belt the Christmas tunes so effectively that I can’t help but sing along to “Oh Holy Night”. This CD and the N*SYNC Christmas album dated to about 2004 (don’t judge I repeat) are the only tunes that get me in the holiday spirit in a BIG WAY.

THANKSGIVING HOMEMADE STUFFING

Now that Marilyn Monroe apparently had the “most innovative stuffing recipe to date” — I can’t wait to try the varieties of stuffing available to me during this time of year. I think the mushroom/leek/onion varieties are my favorite but I’m not picky, whatsoever. I think I prefer stuffing over the turkey itself — I mean, what’s so special about a turkey basted and roasted? B-ORING.

KANYE WEST TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK MORE LIKE A JACKASS THAN HE ALREADY HAS (IF THAT’S EVEN POSSIBLE)

Kanye never ceases to amaze me — he is a psychopath, cocky to no avail and unable to deal with his VERY VISIBLE issues with women. I thought his grab of the award from TSwift last year was going to conclude his crazy ass behavior, but low and behold it was only the beginning. He just debuted an album cover closely resembling ape like behavior with a white woman straddled over top of himself with a hard stiff drink in hand. He also recently struck chords with two of the most prominent people in the US: Matt Lauer and George W.Bush.

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I’ll Take A Cappuccino With A Side of Cougar

In Uncategorized on May 7, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I will preface this post as follows — I tend to veer clear of dating people younger than me. Why you may ask? Well, I don’t think that men my own age are mature enough. To be honest, I think the men I attract myself to for the MOST part have the maturity levels of 4th graders. With that in mind, I don’t usually delve into dating the younger gentleman I know. What I have seen more and more, however, is the frequency of older women dating younger men. In Hollywood, it’s become the new “black dress” come to think of it.

DEMI AND ASHTON-

At first I was skeptical, very skeptical. He was a young, somewhat aloof character on That 70’s Show as well as the host of Punk’d. She was a long standing Hollywood icon who has children close to Ashton’s age. I just was not sure if it would end well — who woulda thunken that they would be the most adoring/loving couple in Hollywood? It’s a shame both aren’t drop dead gorgeous to make it a completely picture perfect situation. HA.

NICK AND MARIAH —

I’m still very much on the fence with this one — every time they walk the Red Carpet together there is such a clear sense of jealousy and inferiority on the part of Nick that I don’t know if this cougar relationship will be everlasting. She is a music mogul who has sculpted quite an enterprise  with her music, “MOVIES” in BIG ASS PARENTHESES, and beauty products. Nick, on the other hand, is the “faux spokesperson” for Teen Nick — while I love Degrassi? He needs to step his game up.

AUBREY AND HALLE–

This relationship has recently fizzled, which I mean, isn’t too heart breaking to anyone. They weren’t a Jen/Brad or anything like that but they were for sure eye soaringly attractive — yes, I made up that word… start incorporating it into your daily jargon if you so desire. Their daughter is quite frankly the cutest child in Hollywood — I figured the Jolie Pitt tribe would have produced as least one STUNNING child but I was very wrong. Instead, all of them sport manly clothing (those that are girls), long strangly hair, and unibrows. I’ll pass and give the award to Halle and Aubrey instead — if nothing more, they produced quite the striking child.

MADONNA AND JESUS? (?)

Here’s the thing — Madonna is the closest thing to most American’s as a God Like figure so I won’t bash her or her sexual partners, but come on. This relationship reminds me very much of the Desperate Housewives scenario between Eva Longoria and the pool boy (who has since his brief stint on the show become bloated, broke, and alone in life mind you). I think the concept is hot, but leave it to your fantasies while STILL ASLEEP Madonna.



Celeb Couples I Can’t Comprehend — Part Deux

In Uncategorized on January 20, 2010 at 4:51 pm

So the most popular blog I’ve ever written was entitled, “Celebrity Couples I Can’t Wrap My Head Around” — after having watched more E! Entertainment and read more OK! Magazines, more couples have begun to confuse me and I feel it is about time I share them with all of you. Enjoy.

NICOLE KIDMAN AND KEITH URBAN

I’m not saying there’s anything “wrong” necessarily with this couple — I do, however, find it to be quite a peculiar match up. I mean, think about it — Keith Urban is this, frosted tipped, True Religion wearing “Country Pop Star”, and then you have Nicole Kidman, whose this fragile, pale, reserved, ex of Tom Cruise? Like … who woulda thunken? Then seem quite happy so I won’t judge.

MARILYN MANSON AND EVAN RACHEL WOOD — AGAIN…

I wanted desperately to avoid writing again about my confusion with this duo. The most searched person on my entire blog is surprisingly Evan Rachel Wood, andddd, keeping in mind the fact that she is now oddly engaged to this unusual specimen of a human, I thought I’d re issue a “CONFUSION LABEL”. I DON’T GET IT EVAN… You’re young, attractive, headed in somewhat of the right direction career wise — why is it you flock towards a man who … well… we don’t even know his sexuality? gender? skin color?


JAMIE KENNEDY AND JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT

Alright, I see it — You two fell in LOVEEE during the making of Scream and just went on with your own individual mediocre lives without each other, until ONE DAY, at a Scream Reunion Bar Crawl, you realized you were destined alllll along. Or more likely, they both realized that each of them made up probably 1/2 of a real celebrity, so together, they could be one “famous person”.

NICK CANNON AND MARIAH CAREY

This one makes me shake me head in confusion on a daily basis — he is this somewhat famous, somewhat attractive “actor” who now permanently hosts Teen Nick Channel. He is goofy looking, smiles too often, and is best known for his “so so” role in Drumline. Mariah Carey is a GODDESS of all musicians, best friend to Smokey Robinson and Oprah Winfrey, and revolutionary in the music world. WHAT IS SHE THINKING??? I UNDERSTAND he worships the ground she walks on, yes, and I understand that she is tired of “men who rule her life” but this is just too weird for me to ever give the seal of approval. I’m sorry.

Michael Jackson- Why Only One White Glove?

In Uncategorized on July 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm

I do realize because of a) my adoration for Michael and b) nothing else has been covered on the news since June 25th, it is now time to finally blog about the situation. I don’t think this will be a typical fan response but it’s ok — I’ve always been a little bit different. These are my opinions on the tragic and sudden death of the late King of Pop:

A) I do believe he was involved in risky business with children. Why else would he have paid of 25 million dollars to one of the children’s families? To avoid further investigation — my point exactly. In addition, there has been shocking news of a “hidden room” found behind his clothing in his closet — accesible only to those with keys/locks? Is this serious? If so, I would like to know what exactly took place in this room. I believe that there is a lot we have to figure out still in regards to his pedophile title. I am hoping the child that was paid off comes out of the dark and speaks the truth.

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B) I believe while the Michael Jackson Memorial yesterday was a massive, public relations/ press frenzy it was also somewhat tasteful all at the same time. I think the only part that really shook me up was when Paris, his daughter, started crying on the stage. I think all of us saw him as an entertainer, a child at heart, and perhaps a child molestor — not many thought of him as a father. Once we saw the despair and pain his daughter felt towards his death it almost changes your views on the man who we thought we knew well. On a lighter, funnier note, I would like to comment that Mariah Carey’s performance was laughable and down right horrendous. I was expecting Michael to rise from his grave and tell her to get the hell off of the stage. Mariah, just because you wave your hand up and down does not mean you are still as good of a singer as you were back in the 90’s. I’m sorry.

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 C) His physical feature timeline freaks the shit out of me. To be frank. I think he looked best circa age 15? Sure he was self conscious about his skin but after Nose Job 1 he looked legitamately hot. By surgery number 10, however, he became a creature — not a man, oh no a creature that I can’t seem to identify.

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D) His music and music videos will and forever have shaped our music world. Thriller, one of my old time favorite music videos was absolutely revolutionary. I tend to sit in my apartment, headphones on, in the pitch black watching the 13 minute video intensely. It was spooky, creepishly good, and captivating all at the same time. In addition to Thriller, some of his hits such as Dirty Diana, P.Y.T., and Billie Jean were songs I danced to for years in jazz, hip hop, and even modern dance classes.

In conclusion, do I think that it was a tragic death? Absolutely. Do I think he truly shaped every aspect of the music industry? Without a doubt. However, do I think his financial/sexual/legal situations are something to overlook?  Not whatsoever.

R.I.P. King of Pop- You will most definitely never be forgotten (for better or for worse)

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