The Evolution Of My “Under The Influence” Photos

I am 23 (well almost) so I can sit here and write about my evolution of drunk photographs. I also represent various hard alcohols and wines therefore, it is somewhat encouraged you can even say to take part in the drinking festivities.

Facebook has done a wonderful job at remembering many many nights that are somewhat hazy to me, that’s ok — that’s what it is there for. Thank you Mark Zuckerberg for saving me hundreds of dollars on digital cameras, chargers I’d lose most likely lose and time I would’ve wasted on uploading pictures.

I decided to take an awkward look back at the various photos of me in social settings — by social meaning, well you know what I’m referring to. I thought it would be humorous while all the while embarrassing on my end, to post the photos of my evolution. Enjoy as I uncomfortably recap my years of drinking:

MY YEARS OF BEING THE “ONE WHO DROVE US THERE”

The years of high school for me were vastly different  from my college years. I took it upon myself to be the designated driver for my group of girlfriends. I would always have a hot Wawa tea in hand and be the “more responsible” one of the evening. I wouldn’t really have all too much of a desire, to be quite honest, to get hammered off  $2.00 beers, feel bloated, have to eventually return home to my parent’s house and wake up to their contemplative glances. Hence, why, yes I was the sober chauffeur most of my younger years.

THROWING MY INTENT TO MAINTAIN MY “DESIGNATED DRIVER” STATUS OUT OF THE WINDOW

So, come mid senior year, I took it upon myself to get involved in the drinking. I still wouldn’t opt for a beer still or any nonsense of that nature. Instead, I decided  if I were to partake in the whole high school binge drinking ordeal? I’d do it full out. In the lovely picture displayed below, I had a tendency of driving my friends still TO THE EVENT, however, once at the party? It was straight vodka, no chaser, in a classy Propel bottle for me. Yes, I made it back and no I did NOT enjoy the looks on my dad’s face the following morning.

MY PASSION FOR HUGGING MY FRIENDS IN PHOTOS AS THOUGH WE HAVE NOT BEEN UNITED IN YEARS AND YEARS

This is not going in chronological order from this point on, for your information, but it will be covering all basis don’t you worry. I love when I wake up and find photos of me hugging my friends and sometimes thought that I am not even all too fond of SO tightly. I first off, don’t like hugging in general soberly and second off, don’t get why I feel the need at times to show to the world just how much I like them via tagged photos on Facebook?

TAKING PICTURES WITH FRIENDS IN BAR BATHROOMS/ BATHROOM STALLS

I really don’t like bathrooms…. actually I hate them. I don’t like the concept that you pee where you shower. It just doesn’t do it for me. With that in mind, I spend the smallest amount of time POSSIBLE in the physical bathroom. Why you may ask, do I then take photographs in bathroom lobbies and stalls (yes, it has happened)? I cannot answer that for you at this point in time. When I come up with an intelligent answer, I will let all of you know.

REPPING AN UNUSUAL AMOUNT OF SORORITY PRIDE

The ironic part about this one is that in general? I’m known to be quite the back burner kind of sister. I love my girls but I have no intention of ever stepping up and doing anything above and beyond. With that being said, I consider putting up our sorority symbol in pictures is asking a  bit too much. When in foreign countries with best friends and drinks in hand, however, I guess my interest in showing my Greek pride escalates to high levels?

TAKING A LEISURELY BREAK FROM MY DRINKING ON FRIEND’S STAIRWELLS

Hmmm… again I don’t think there is a lot to explain about this behavior. The only way I can rationalize this is to say that standing in heels for 2 hours while pregaming takes a big ass toll on your feet and your body. Sometimes ya just NEED to plop your ass down wherever you find a floral 1980’s rug and take a breather before you head out for a night again on your feet.

ALLOWING PEOPLE TO TAKE PHOTOS WHEN CLEARLY I SHOULD HAVE AVOIDED ON ALL COSTS

There are many photographs like this one — which I cherish and hold dear to my heart. They are priceless, timeless and all the while extremely embarrassing. I think that photos that you know should be erased that aren’t make for the best stories. The picture shown here was from the summer going into college — I thought at the time this would be the only one of it’s kind? Boy did I not see what was comin’….

No Dad, I Won’t Add You Back- What Facebook Has Become

 

So, here’s the thing. When I was a senior in high school, I remember being FAR MORE excited to receive my college e-mail address than I was to have been admitted. Why is that you ask? Oh well, because at that point (2006) ONLY COLLEGE STUDENTS could register for Facebook account. 

The concept of Facebook, originally was a wonderful idea. It helped me and many others entering their freshman year find people living in our dorms, classes, etc. I remember how useful the tool was for me when I picked up and moved by myself to San Francisco. I was able to contact most of the others who were joining me for the summer. It made situations less awkward for some reason — maybe it’s because you are able to literally read up on everyone’s entire life via FB profile? I’m not sure. But I do know that it was a remarkably helpful tool- AT FIRST.

Then… once I was in college, FB allowed for ANY Bob, Joe, and Sally to create an account. In lamens terms that meant that every younger sibling you had, then created an account. Bad news on ALL accounts. Little girls dressed provocatively in photos with captions, ‘MY BABY BOYZZZZ XOXOX‘ became commonplace. Also, it really showed us older siblings JUST HOW sane our grade was. And how mature the younger generations had developed (literally and metaphorically) .

NOW that they are on their way to college, the thrill of the Facebook is no longer there. In addition, PARENTS, AUNTS, AND UNCLES, are now on the site. 

I think this is THE clear indicator the trend should be abolished very very soon. My naive mom decided to make one, well, of course my 18 year old brother declined the invite. As a result my mother gave up her attempt to be cool. I advise all others in her shoes to do the same.

Bumper Stickers, Friend or Foe?

I am clearly not going to blog right now about how dumb I find bumper stickers to be, because I don’t feel that way whatsoever. I tend to find myself spending an IMMENSE amount of my time searching for hours upon hours for “THE” perfect bumper sticker to send to my friends. I also hate/love the fact that Facebook does not really categorize them, which then correlates to people spending many hours of their day on their site searching for specific ones they hope to find… “at some point”. That is the quintessential line, “I will only search for a minute or two until I find one about my sorority” let’s say for example. Forty minutes fly by and you have yet to come across that bumper with your sorority’s name flashed in Pink Bubble Letters you were hoping to have found 35 minutes ago.

For entertainment’s sake I will review the few categories of bumpers I see the most of and how I either find humor in them or how I feel as though the people that posted them should be taken to an insane asylum.

The Typical “Hopeless Romantic” Stickers

 

I first off am offended that automatically girls choose to use hearts and pink in their bumpers, insinuating that all of us girls JUST MUST LOVEEEE the color pink, and hearts. Well news flash? We don’t. I also cannot explain to you how irritating it is to see page after page of Hopeless/Pathetic girl created bumpers that are pretty much cries for help in my opinion. Downgrade. 

Everyone’s Favorite: Some ECards 

I seem to find these oddly amusing, as do most people. I can’t explain what exactly it is about these particular bumpers that I love, perhaps it’s the fact that the written joke has nothing WHATSOEVER to do with the picture being displayed in the bumper. If you think about any of the E Cards for the most part, you will take note of the fact that they really don’t make any sense. Maybe that’s their niche? 

How Can We Forget, The Jonas Brother’s Collection

For those of you who have read my posts before, I am sure you will remember that I clearly not know much about nor do I care to learn about Miley Cyrus. Therefore, the same rules apply for The Jonas Brothers. Boys? I really don’t care if you wish to stay virgins until marriage, nor do I care that you maintain a squeaky clean image while still racking in the millions. Get off of Facebook bumpers and back into Nickelodeon, thanks.

And Finally, Who Can Forget The Rap Lyric Bumpers

Glad to know you guys know the lyrics to these “greatttt” rap songs, but please dear god stop creating bumper stickers out of them. It’s irritating enough as is to have to hear Lil Wayne every 5 minutes on the radio, now I have to be bombarded by his lyrics on Facebook? Again, I state downgrade.