Celeb Couples – Favorite Hookups and Breakups

THE BEST HOOKUPS

EMMA AND KIERAN

UM obsessed with this power “fresh new faces” couple. I can’t describe how much I love Kieran — he’s like a less creepy version of his blonde child star older brother Maculay. Emma’s the hottest red head in movies now  – hands down. I feel a Juno esque movie coming out with both of them very soon…

 ASHLEY AND JUSTIN

While I always felt more like MK more than Ashley I must admit, I have had a girl crush on Ashley for quite some time. She is classy, simplistic in style but always fashionable and overall cleaner than her twin counter part — let’s be honest. Justin Bartha, some hot new not all too well known yet actor is the perfect chill counterpart that hasn’t lived a life as a child star like his girlfriend – I think it will work well.

LAUREN AND KYLE

I wasn’t a fan of Laguna or The Hills or The City – was that even a show? Oh well, you get the point. I  did, however, always think LC was drop dead and when I ran into her at LAX my statement was cemented, minus the fact she can be counted as a legal midget more or less — she must be 4’11 maximum. I LOVE Kyle Howard he is so sexy and under the radar yet still around. Screw you Brody.

THE BEST BREAKUPS

SHIA AND CAREY

Let’s call a spade a spade here — we all can agree I hope that his brief stunt with ho hum Carey resulted in Shia’s frumpiest look to date. He had long awkwardly long hair, an unshaven face and seemed to keep his baby blue most likely very dirty sweatshirt on at all times. GLAD that’s over.

EVA AND TONY

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? She’s breath taking, talented and fun to be around or so it seems. Like, unless you’re brain dead and or unable to see I THINK it would be in your best interest NOT to cheat and or break it off with Eva. What a lugnut Tony is, really.

VANESSA AND ZAC

All I will say is this…. FINALLY, dear god. I mean — he’s a very pretty pretty male specimen and she is a dainty yet naughty under the surface Disney Star. I thought it was semi-ish-not really cute when I watched High School Musical but after that point? It lost it’s mojo — except for the nudie pics that leaked and that I saw. Speaking of those, let me tell you, she may want to allocate more time to the “adult” films and publications and less time to Disney channel movies — JUST sayin.

 

The Rise and Fall of LiLo (More About The Fall…)

The Parent Trap — True to Her True Natural Hue Lindsay

This was the point at which she got her lucky break. I think we all can agree that her “lucky break” was in fact the worst decision her mother ever made — allowing her to audition for a movie as a child. She is the prime example of what could go wrong with child actors DOES. Case in point as lawyers like to say.

The Hot, Real Big Boobed Lindsay

This was the short lived period during which Lindsay was in fact heterosexual, had real attractive breasts, and hadn’t destroyed her career yet. She was a sex kitten with the potential to become a stable household name in the “movie industry”. Funny that we once associated her with cinema.

The “I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About — I’m Not on Coke” Lindsay

This is personally my favorite Lindsay stage. She literally is drooling and incoherent in virtually every photograph taken during this period of her life. She is usually spotted in the back of a shady stranger’s SUV unconscious — what a quick fall LiLo.

The My Interest in Food and Men Have Gone Away Lindsay

Here’s the phase during which she began sleeping with women… well, that is if you consider Sam Ronson a full blown female which in my opinion is still up in the air. She also realized eating was “out of vogue” — she is photographed during this time with her skinny counterpart Nicole Richie, sporting shirts that stated “SKINNY BITCH”. Cute really.

The I’m Now Dried Up, Not Invited to Galas/Parties/Special Events Anymore, and Bloated Lindsay

This is my least favorite phase of Lindsay’s. She’s somewhat sad and pathetic — who am I kidding, she is extremely sad and pathetic. She is out partying like she used to 6 years ago, except this time around, she is “the party crasher” and the one who makes every event look tacky. Also, Lindsay, the ankle bracelet and bloated demeanor really isn’t at all flattering. Trust me.

Crocs- The Endless Debate

I really was a hater originally. I used to frown down upon all of those whom purchased, wore, and adored these ugly clogs. But, after years of popularity, the shoes have somewhat become less bothersome to me. 

I think there are only a few proper ways to wear Crocs:

1) If you are an infant, or a young child who don’t like having to tie your shoes and or enjoy rolling around in the dirt.

2) You are a gardener who uses them for their original purpose.

3) You attend a very, very liberal arts college such as Reed College or Swarthmore and feel “warm and at home” in the Crocs.

4) You live in an apartment with unsanitary bathroom floors and don’t feel comfortable showering without Crocs on.

5) You are a celebrity and wish to start a “new craze” with little kids by placing them on your children clearly in front of the paps.